In my first post on this blog, I talked about famously crazy tennis parents and their apparent magical formula for building great champions. You know who I mean. No need to name names again. What their children have accomplished in tennis is phenomenal. What their children have endured; well just pick up Andre Agassi’s book to get an idea.

I recently had a discussion with an amazing man, an athlete manager and a really, really decent human being. What I found so interesting was that he wrote me an email giving me a thumbs-up on The Tennis Mom blog and then closed with this sentence. “You are doing something important, of value, IF the Mom’s listen.”

In our subsequent discussions, I asked what he meant by that comment. He then shared some absolute horror stories about professional tennis players he’s worked with who were abused physically and terrorized psychologically by their parents.  Several of these players are tour players who are fighting deep emotional scars.  The “push” they received from their parents throughout their junior years, was as subtle as a sledgehammer.

It got me thinking about the type of tennis parent I am and the types of tennis parents I’ve met in my first year of tournament life. While I will say that I have had many positive experiences with other tennis parents and even made one really “best” friend, I’ve observed behaviour from some 12-and-under parents that has both amused and horrified me.

For the next few Mondays I’ll be posting about the different types of tennis parents I’ve encountered so far. Because I am who I am, I’ve given them names. I just do that, it’s a bit of habit of mine. Some of these profiles may make laugh, some most certainly will not.  You may recognize one or two of them.

Allow me to introduce:

The Wheeler Dealer

The Wheeler Dealer is a Very Busy Person. He or she rushes in with their child at the very last minute, blackberry or smartphone in hand, busily texting away. A distracted kiss or pat and a quick, “sign in and get ready okay?”  and The Wheeler Dealer sends their child off with little or limited assistance.  After a quick handout of cash for a bottle of water or sports drink from the vending machine, The Wheeler Dealer continues to work while their child digs through an overflowing tennis bag looking for wristbands, a skipping rope or even a day-old peanut butter sandwich. During the match The Wheeler Dealer’s child looks over longingly for approval after hitting a particularly solid winner, only to see that  The Wheeler Dealer is still head down dealing with some Very Important Business. Once off the court its busy, busy time again. “Great job. When’s your next match? Go to the snack bar and order yourself something to eat while I return some Very Important Phone Calls okay?” and The Wheeler Dealer is off and running again.

The Snob

Typically The Snob is a parent with a child who sits at the top of the 12-and-under or 10-and-under rankings. While not all parents of high-ranked kids are The Snob, there usually are at least one or two in the crowd.  The Snob knows their child is better than yours and has no time to waste talking to Losers Like You. When you first start on the tournament circuit The Snob is often one of the first to approach you to find out where your child trains, who their coach is, how many hours a week your child is taking lessons, especially PRIVATE lessons, and WHO YOU KNOW. Once The Snob’s child has whipped your child’s butt, ironically your child will usually draw The Snob’s child in their first tournament, you are dismissed. The Snob talks very loud. They talk very loud because they have IMPORTANT NEWS to share about their child’s equipment sponsorship, camp scholarship, coach assessment, federation phone call and other special treatment they have received because their child is JUST SO GOOD.  The Snob may hang around with another Snob, but these relationships tend to fall apart when one Snob’s child starts to win more, or lose more, than the other Snob’s child.

Recognize either of these people?  I asked Player Development Specialist Steve Smith about the different types of tennis parents I’ve seen, and he told me that parental behaviour tends to improve as children move into higher age-groups. It made me wonder what happens in the brains of new tennis parents like me.  Is there a hormone that is triggered by the semi-toxic smell of a newly opened can of tennis balls?

I’ve got eight more types of tennis parents to share over the next few weeks with you but I’d really, really welcome your input.  Know some “type” I should write about?  Want to give ME a label? Share your thoughts in the comment section below or email me. My address is  on the contact page.   Talk to you again soon!